Program strives to help foster parents, children

By Robin Hice

January 22, 2007, Cedartown – Chaos meet order. Disobedience meet rules. Anger meet civility. Hurt meet healing. Fear meet safety. Helplessness meet hope. Confusion meet understanding. Abuse meet consolation. Neediness meet enduring love.

Child meet parent.

Introducing these extremes to each other is what the staff at the Murphy-Harpst Children’s Centers Inc. is doing through Therapeutic Foster Care.

When many institutions might have given up hope and discarded difficult children, this program matches children ready for a different level of care with custom-trained foster parents. The children receive therapeutic or healing care in the home of the TFC parent.

The parents are trained to handle crisis situations, outburst of emotions and other issues.

Specialists in the program at Murphy-Harpst train TFC parents in crisis intervention, medications, first aid and CPR as well as to meet other needs.

Murphy-Harpst is sometimes called the “best kept secret” in Cedartown by employees, a residential treatment facility for emotionally and behaviorally handicapped children.

The stately buildings and well-manicured grounds are quietly nestled in a poor section east of town practically out of sight from the city area.

TFC is the bridge of survival and success for many children needing a little more than regular foster care.

Three components mesh in the program: the child, the foster parent(s) and the program’s organizers. It’s a complex group with complex issues to deal with, and to all involved, it’s more than a case-file and checklist of duties.

Arleen Simmons-Wallace, director of TFC, and Angie Davis, family consultant for the program, are hands-on when it comes to caring for the children.

TFC parents have total access to help when it’s needed, and it’s not uncommon for Simmons-Wallace or Davis to get a call after hours, drop everything and rush to the side of their TFC parent.

They said sometimes they’re just needed to “de-escalate” the child and situation.
Therapeutic Foster Parent Connie McCutcheon has been involved in foster care 21 years. She and her husband have worked with Murphy-Harpst nine years.

“I love it and Murphy-Harpst is the best organization to be with,” McCutcheon said. “They care about their foster parents because it’s a stressful job.”

McCutcheon has Scott, whose name has been changed to protect his identity.
With her hands covering her heart McCutcheon describes the desire to be a TFC parent.
“It’s a calling, a desire,” she said. “If it’s in your heart, people should act on it.” Just like teachers and doctors feel “called” so is a foster parent, McCutcheon said.

Simmons-Wallace and Davis would say no one is a star or deserves a pat on the back more than the child and foster parent.

Robbie Smith, a TFC parent, has 16-year-old Lisa, whose name also is changed for anonymity. Lisa is her second “daughter,” said Smith, who is single and has never had her own children. Some days, she said, she thinks, “Anyone can do this better than I can.”

Lisa calls Robbie “Momma” and said she has her own room and likes being the only child.

Lisa had been moved in and out of six different homes within six months and was having a hard time adjusting. Now she stable and advanced enough to be eligible for adoption.

With a broad smile across her face, Lisa said, “I’m up for adoption.” Smith said it’s hard to let go when the child moves to the next step and she stays “a little weepy” for a while. “I know it’s best for her.” Smith said.

McCutcheon and Smith attend church regularly and rely on their faith for their task. “If you can’t give them the church, you can’t give them hope,” McCutcheon said.
Murphy-Harpst wants more people to become TFC parents, recruiting people in Northwest Georgia. Simmon-Wallace said the training is free and added they have “remarkable statistics” about the success of the program.

Anyone interested in adoption or becoming a therapeutic foster parent should call 770-748-1500 and speak with Simmons-Wallace.

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